haxx0rgunman's ecstasy


Several nights later, haxx0r gunman was in a warehouse, blasting a gang of low level CWAL thugs. Like usual, the only resistance they put up was death. haxx0r gunman wouldn't stand for anything else.

When the last of them were nothing more than stains on the carpet, haxx0r gunman turned to leave. However, there was someone in the doorway, blocking his exit. On second thought, it's more of a something.

The figure in the doorway was, in fact, a beaver. A beaver wielding a vicious looking chainsaw. Kazz, one of CWAL's mighty administrators, had returned.

"So, haxx0r . . . gunman, was it?" he squealed in a high-pitched voice, stereotypical of cartoon rodents. "We meet at last. I trust you know who I am."

haxx0r gunman nodded. "Good. Now, you've been causing quite a lot of trouble for us. Tell me who you're working for, and your death may be quick."

haxx0r gunman knew he was not just bluffing. No man before him had ever survived combat with an administrator. He had no reason to believe that he would either. His only chance was to stall a little longer, in hopes to find the truth that he had been searching for all these long, lonely years. He threw his 2x haxx0r gun to the ground. Kazz smiled.

"Good, you've decided to cooperate. Now, who sent you?"

haxx0r gunman knew now that the only way to find the truth was to bring out it's twin brother, the truth. "The man who I killed in passion is the man who sent me. The President!"

"What? Do you expect me to believe that? Why would you complete the man's work if you killed him, and everyone knows it?"

"Because. . . Because the truth is more important than that! Because it's more important than who sent me, or who I killed, or even you, Kazz! Did you ever think that!? That in your mighty administration, there might be something more important than you!? Well, now there is, and it's the truth! Don't you see!?" The look on Kazz's face told haxx0r gunman that he did.

"So it was the President. Well, now, haxx0r gunman, answer me one last question. You threw down your weapon readily and accepted defeat. Yet, I know you are a warrior, and a warrior never accepts defeat. So, you must have some plan to defeat me, and somehow without your precious 2x haxx0r gun?"

haxx0r gunman merely smiled.

"Very well. Die well, warrior." With that, the beaver revved his chainsaw and charged. He leapt for haxx0r gunman, but was stopped in mid-air by a single word from the weaponless man before him.

"Biology." Still, smiling, haxx0r gunman continued. "A beaver lacks the cranial capacity and vocal range to communicate in the manner that you do. It also lacks the strength and opposable thumbs to wield that chainsaw." The chainsaw clattered to the ground.

Then, Kazz began to scream as his fur-covered flesh slowly melted away and his screams silenced when there was nothing left but a skeleton, which landed on the ground next to the chainsaw.

"Well, Kazz, looks like the chainsaw was beaten by the haxx0r saw." Suddenly, the skeleton of Kazz, by some wondrous last effort, flung itself at haxx0r gunman, but exploded as he screamed out "CHEMISTRY! ASTRONOMY! TRIGONOMETRY! SOCIOLOGY! GEOGRAPHY!"

With nothing left of the administrator but bone shards, haxx0r gunman left the warehouse.