The Young haxx0rgunman Chronicles, pt. III

A very young haxx0r gunman stared across the Ohio plains and wondered.

I can sense something, a hostile presence somewhere out there on the plains . . . but what? And why don't I see anything strange? It was almost as if there was a hidden enemy somewhere in the endless fields beyond, an enemy that could blend into the very earth itself. haxx0r gunman realized all too late just what had caused his strange premonition. He was already rushing towards the wagon-train behind him when he heard the first of the screams.

Indians! It had been almost three months since the ragtag band of adventurers, led by none other than haxx0r gunman himself, had set off from St. Louis on a journey across the country to Oregon. They hadn't expected it to be easy, but haxx0r gunman had been more worried about diseases and bears than an indian attack. Then again, he hadn't expected to run into the tricky Blackfoot tribe either.

By the time he had gotten back to his companions, the men had all been scalped and the women were in the process of being raped by a cadre of fearsome braves. haxx0r gunman had the haxx0rgun v0.5 Beta ready and firing before you could say "redskin."

And if it was at all possible, their skins became even redder, with no less than their own blood, as haxx0r gunman fired shot after shot until all six shots had been fired and all the braves lay dead, slaughtered by the technology that their entire society was devoted to destroying.

But a slight tingling, a barely noticeable twinge in the force, told haxx0r gunman that he was not off the reservation yet. He spun a 180 degree turn to see a wise and powerful Blackfoot shaman, ritual Tomahawk raised high in the air. He began a dance that haxx0r gunman recognized instantly. It was the Dance of Stone, and he knew that, having gazed upon it, he would turn into solid rock in no time. There was a cure, but all before him had chosen a stone eternity rather than endure such a gruesome fate as the cure. The cure that was to stare directly at the sun.

haxx0r gunman could feel himself begin to solidify, and realized that his time for internal debate was through. Knowing exactly what a haxx0r gunman must do, he opened his eyes wide and stared full-on into the sun. His vision was filled with a brilliant light white before the entire world went black.

When he finally woke up, he wasn't sure how long he had been sleeping. It could've been hours, or days. It appeared that he was in some kind of hospital room, but something was wrong. Something was different, but he couldn't place just what. And he was so tired. He heard voices, doctors standing somewhere nearby. Just out of his vision.

"Yes, the patient is doing remarkably well. There seem to be no complications."

"Excellent. This new cyber technology may prove more useful than we thought. Ah, he's awake."

A stereotypical white labcoat-wearing doctor stepped into haxx0r gunman's field of view. "Mr. gunman, was it? I'm Dr. Casto, and I'm afraid what we have on our hands here is a good news/bad news situation. You see, for one reason or another it seems you took it upon yourself to stare directly into the particularly blinding light of the sun. When you did this, you forever destroyed your eyes, which, by the way, our tests revealed to be flawless. Other than the obvious damage, of course."

"Your lies bemuse me, 'doctor,' but I have much resting to do before I recover. So tell me, if my eyes are 'forever destroyed,' how is it that I see you now?"

"Well, you may or may not be aware of the recent technological advancements made by one Jonathan K. Cyber?" haxx0r gunman was. "To summarize, first came the pulley, then the lever, then the machine, then the device. But now, Mr. Cyber has invented the next best thing, which he has fittingly deemed 'Cyber.' One of the first implementations of this new technology are cyber-eyes, artificial visual sensors directly interfaced into the human central nervous system. The perfect melding of man and ma-" The doctor found the haxx0rbullet that blasted into his skull a much less perfect melding of man and machine, and he toppled to the ground to accentuate the point.

For the first time in haxx0r gunman's life, he was seeing things crystal clear.