The Young haxx0rgunman Chronicles, pt. II

haxx0r gunman, or at least the young man he once was, stood alone, deep below the surface of the Arizona desert in a seemingly abandoned mineshaft. An old map he'd obtained a week ago from an old mexican tracker had led him here, the supposed tomb of the legendary Buffalo Bill. As soon as haxx0r gunman had deciphered the ancient spanish on the map and found out exactly what it was, he rushed to the coordinates marked with a bright red "X".

Of course, it wasn't Buffalo Bill he was interested, so much as his even more legendary six-shooter, the haxx0rgun v0.5 Beta. It was supposedly buried with along with the heroic cowboy, and with such a weapon at his side, haxx0r gunman knew he'd be able to take on anything the world could possibly throw at him. But likewise, he knew getting it wouldn't exactly be a piece of cake. Then again, he had always been a pie man.

The map led him to the mineshaft, and after almost an hour of trekking deeper underground, he had finally come to what appeared to be a dead end. There had still, however, been no sign of Buffalo Bill, the haxx0rgun v0.5 Beta, or anything other than the remains of a standard early 20th-century mining operation. haxx0r gunman, for one, had learned long ago that appearances could be deceiving, so he decided to take a closer look at things. Sure enough, high on the wall at then end of the tunnel was what seemed to be a button of some kind.

No doubt that switch is the key here, but blast it, it's just out of reach. But perhaps . . .

haxx0r gunman closed his eyes and focused, allowing his mind to clear of all thought. Then, ever so slowly, he reached out with the force. He could feel its overwhelming power rushing through him, and for one brief instant, he was completely at one with the force. In that instant, the button clicked down, and a previously hidden doorway in the wall slid open with a dull grating sound. haxx0r gunman smiled.

The force was with him.

He stepped through the doorway and into the dimly lit room beyond. Sure enough, in the center of the room was a large coffin, with a six-shooter resting on top. haxx0r gunman instantly recognized it as the haxx0rgun v0.5 Beta. It was a short walk to where it lay, and it wasn't until haxx0r gunman had the mighty weapon in his hand that he heard movement in the doorway behind him. He turned around and saw a group of about a dozen men filing into the room. A second look revealed that they weren't just men . . .

Nazis! Just my luck, they must've been following me in hopes of finding the gun for themselves! Well, little do they know, they've turned out to be the perfect test for my new weapon!

haxx0r gunman had to be sure that the haxx0rgun v0.5 Beta was as powerful as legend said, so he brashly rushed the squad of nazis head-on. And much to their surprise, with only 6 haxx0rbullets fired he somehow managed to fell all twelve of his adversaries, not to mention shoot out the four lights in the room and disarm the soon-to-be-lethal trap he had triggered by picking up the haxx0rgun v0.5 Beta. Satisfied that he had finally found a weapon worthy of his skill, he tossed his old Stetson to the ground and holstered his new haxx0rgun in its place.

Not caring for all the other treasures in the room, which could have made him rich beyond his wildest dreams, haxx0r gunman dusted himself off and headed back up the tunnel towards the surface. When he was gone, a lone figure emerged from a shadowy alcove.

It was Adolf Hitler.

He was grinning.