haxx0rgunman con carne

Chris Redfield spat and cursed his luck. He was captain of Delta Team, one of the divisions in the Badger City Police Department's elite squadron known as F.O.R.C.E.. It stood for Futuristic Operation Reguarding Criminal Enforcement, and it was one of the main reasons Badger City had remained crime-free for so many years. Even in 2033, where crime was anything but free.

But Redfield had more to worry about than just crime now. He was on a routine patrol late one night when he received a call of activity at a nearby condemmned building. The night soon became anything but routine when he arrived on the scene and headed inside the building. He had been inside for less than a minute, and now a grotesque and slavering creature he could describe only as a zombie was now bearing down on him. Armed with only his knife, and caught completely offguard by the walking dead, he wasn't sure if even he would be able to pull through this one. But, as all its members knew, the number one rule in F.O.R.C.E. was "try your best and never give up," so Redfield simply brandished his knife and grinned maniacally.

"Hey, zombie, I think your flesh is rotting." He then proceeded to stand perfectly still as he delivered a series of 20 knife-blows to the walking corpse's head, each slightly more devastating than the last, which was precisely the amount needed to forever fracture the horrible abomination's skull and lay the empty shell of a body to rest once and for all. Satisfied, Redfield sheathed his blade.

He spun quickly at the sound of clapping from behind him, and was surprised to see F.O.R.C.E. Commander Steve Wesker standing in a darkened doorway. "Well done, Redfield. With a quick dagger like that, they ought to call you Renfield."

Redfield arched an eyebrow quizzically."Oh? And why is that?"

Wesker frowned and shook his head. "Come on now, boy, surely you must know all the answers won't come so easily!"

He did know it was so, but Redfield kept his eyebrow raised. "Oh? Well, it has been noted . . . sir." He spat once more for good measure, and then turned and walked from the room, and then the building all together. He didn't know what Wesker had been doing there, or whether or not it had any connection to that zombie creature, but either way he didn't like it. There had always been something about the commander that struck Redfield as offput, but he could never quite put his finger on it.

Oh well, for now I must worry not about zombies or commanders, but about driving, back to the station of all places. But when I get there, what then shall I worry about. It seems that access to that knowledge is not at my discretion, in any case. He climbed back into his patrol car and sped off towards the Badger City Police Station.

From a nearby rooftop, haxx0r gunman watched and smiled, though he could not remember the last time he had. So, there is another who can stand with me against the undead hordes that CWAL is planning to unleash on this little town. Perhaps there is hope for it after all. Perhaps, in my darkest hour, there can be justice. He returned to the shadows of the night, and was not seen again until morning.

By the next night, haxx0r gunman had managed to track down CWAL's secret Zombie Factory, mercilessly hidden in the town cemetary. He waited until it was dark, when the zombies would be ripe for the 2x haxx0rbolting, and then put in a call to the Badger City Police Department, reporting a zombie-related disturbance. haxx0r gunman knew there was only one man they would send on such a call.

Sure enough, Chris Redfield himself arrived at the cemetary soon after, this time armed with a massive shotgun, the word "SUBSISTENCE" scrawled into the pump-handle. He was far within the cemetary's walls when the fiendishly clever zombies rose from their hiding places, buried deep within the earth. Redfield hadn't even seen it coming, and he cursed his luck once again. Instantly, though, he realized that the time for cursing was past, and now was a time for opening fire. And open fire he did. A fast series of well-placed shots ripped the first line of the undead assailants to pieces, but there were still many zombies, slowly lumbering towards him, and he was forced to hault his slaughter long enough to reload. But in those few precious seconds, the zombies were upon him.

Just as all seemed lost, haxx0r gunman himself leapt over a nearby stone wall, and fired a barrage of 2x haxx0rbolts that ripped all the undead assailants to pieces. Much to Redfield's chagrin, haxx0r gunman then pointed the 2x haxx0rgun at him. "Speak now, boy, and speak the truth. Were you bitten? Have you been infected with CWAL's mysterious Virus X? Speak up, boy!"

"Bitten?" Redfield checked himself up and down, just to be sure. "No. Not a scratch on me. It's amazing! It's like you work mira-" Despite Redfield's claims, he was still layed to waste by a 2x haxx0rbolt, no more or less vicious than any that had come before it. The silence that followed was soon broken by the sound of clapping. haxx0r gunman turned to find Commander Wesker standing behind him.

"Well done, haxx0r gunman. Well done. But, there is one thing I don't understand. The boy really wasn't infected, and you knew it. So why did you feel he no longer deserved to live?"

haxx0r gunman smiled once more. "My reasons were simple, but of the utmost importance. For you see, one as adept as that boy was at fighting zombies might one day decide that they should be a haxx0r gunman. And I'm afraid that of haxx0r gunman, there can be only one." The 2x haxx0rbolt that blasted through Wesker killed him before he even hit the floor.

He had been conspring with CWAL all along.