haxx0rgunman's date with destiny


haxx0r gunman stared at the monitor before him. Things did not look good. He was sitting in the pilot's seat in the JoystickJpit of his interstellar star-cruiser, the oWnD 1. The display flashing in front of him showed a whole squadron of Sowanian starfighters, quickly closing the distance between them. He was outmatched and outgunned at least fifty to one. The situation seemed hopeless. But haxx0r gunman knew well that situations, like ugly ducklings, were not always what they seemed.

haxx0r gunman was reminded of his Academy days, when he had been the star player of the school's cyberball team. With haxx0r gunman leading the charge, his team was unstoppable, until one game when a series of flukes and foul-ups left all players on his team taken out of the game for one reason or another. All players except haxx0r gunman, the only cyberballer never ejected from a single game.

In that situation, he had indeed been outnumbered nearly 50 to 1. But he had known just what to do then, as he knew just what to do now. Back then, the maneuver had won him the game, he could only hope that it would now win him his life. haxx0r gunman accelerated the oWnD 1 to attack speed.

The squadron was formed in a huge V-shape, and was barreling towards haxx0r gunman at an incredible speed. It wouldn't be long before he was in range of their weapons, meaning he'd only have one shot. As usual, that was all he needed.

He engaged the fighters head on, and in a move that defied logic and basic astrophysics strafed their flanks, thus destroying the entire squadron in a blaze of glory.

His display showed no remaining hostiles in the sector. Had the computer been able to understand what that meant, it would've been impressed. But having not even proprietary AI, the computer remained emotionless and cold to the outside world, not unlike its operataor. haxx0r gunman continued on his way.

His destination was the small moon that was discovered orbiting around the moon in 2012. He reached it without further incident, and docked in a conveniently located astro-garage. He climbed out of the oWnD 1 and down onto the surface of the Moon's moon. Then he stared out into the space above him, at the Moon itself. It was in that instant that he called out to one of his oldest and greatest nemeses.

"Man in the Moon, 'tis I, gunman in the haxx0r! I call you out now, once and forever!" Slowly, as he had seen it happen so many times before, he saw a giant face form on the surface of the moon.

"Ah, gunman in the haxx0r, what a pleasure to see you again so soon." The sarcasm in its voice was quite obvious. "What brings you here, gunman?"

"What brings me here? I thoguht to myself, always the tides must change. But why? Because no one has ever made effort to stop it. Until now!" With that, haxx0r gunman fired a 2x haxx0rbolt that burrowed deep into the Moon's flank. From within, it caused a horrible explosion, that tore the moon apart and caused the sky back on Earth to light up for a moment with a bright green glow. But then it was gone, as was the moon itself. As a result, it's moon fell to Earth, and haxx0r gunman rode it all the way home.