that's haxx0r(gunman)


The night was young, not to mention stormy. The rain fell hard on the dry plains of New Arkansas. The brown and dried grass began to burn away under the apparently acidic precipitation. A flash of lightning illuminated a nearby cliffside, atop which stood the ever-vigilante form of haxx0r gunman. He casually fingered the trigger of his 2x haxx0rgun as he stared out over the plains.

Tonight is a night of acid storms, he thought to himself, But also, a night of blizzards. Another flash of lightning revealed the massive fortress that stood in the fields beyond, home to Blizzard Entertainment, archrival of none other than CWAL themselves.

Unfortunately for haxx0r gunman, the enemies of his enemies were not always his friends. Then again, haxx0r gunman had few, if any, true friends. By the time the lightning struck again, he was gone.

His destination was a patch of bushes just outside Blizzard's main entrance. From his hiding place there, haxx0r gunman was able to surmise the situation with his cyber-eyes. He magnified his vision to 200x and switched to see x-ray particles only, thus giving him the ability to see through walls. What he saw was none too surprising.

Blizzard had the usual contingent of orcs and trolls, lounging about their main lobby. With such a force, it would be impossible for any one man to penetrate Blizzard's sanctum. But luckily enough, impossibility was a daily game for haxx0r gunman, the stakes being his own sanity. haxx0r gunman strode up and kicked down the front door, his 2x haxx0rgun at the ready.

He was stopped by a drunken-looking orc warrior, who stumbled up to him and held out his axe. "Who you? No one pass!"

"Who am I? I am the general of the army of conformity and the bastardizer of souls!" At the sound of haxx0r gunman's voice, a troll in the back recognized him.

"By the axe of Barak G'Thule, it is haxx0r gunman! To arms, brothers! We must destroy this enemy of our unholy alliance!" In that instant, the trolls all let fly their axes, but haxx0r gunman also let fly his 2x haxx0rbolts.

When the smoke cleared all foes, both troll and orc, were dead, and haxx0r gunman stood in the same spot, safe from all harm. He shook his head and proceeded through the lobby to a nearby stairwell, which he climbed to the top floor of the building. It was there that he found the one that he was looking for.

In the center of a large empty room, a single human brain was being kept alive in a plastiglass jar, a series of electronic devices blinking and flashing underneath it. Even by only his brain, haxx0r gunman would recognize that man anywhere.

"J.R.R. Tolkien, we meet again." haxx0r gunman's cold voice echoed through the large chamber. The brain jar's small audio output unit flared to life, and sputtered for a moment.

"hax-haxx0-ha-haxx0r gunman? Is that you? How did you find me here?" The hollow mechanical voice failed to truly convey Tolkien's fear and surprise.

"Who else would I find, keeping trolls and orcs alive, well into the 21st century? Such things should've died with you." haxx0r gunman raised his 2x haxx0rgun once again, and aimed it at the brain jar.

"Wait a moment, haxx0r gunman, for truly at long last I deserve to die. But there was a method to my madness, I did it all for a reason. And maybe, just maybe, you could find wisdom in the last words of a crazy old man."

haxx0r gunman's only answer was a 2x haxx0rbolt, pronounced and precise, that tore apart both the brain jar and the brain inside. "Truly, Tolkien, you were a fool, for I find wisdom only in death."

With that, he walked over to a panel on the wall near the doorway, and keyed in the facility's self-destruct sequence.

The resulting explosion was brilliant.